How to tell which behaviors to allow? As long as a behavior isn’t dangerous, it’s up to you if you want the dog to do it or not. If you’re okay with your dog eating off your plate, that’s up to you. You can let them on your bed or not. They can bark at the door if you want them to. It is your dog, and you can let them do what you want as long as it’s not dangerous.
If the behavior is not dangerous, do I need to stop it?
“Is it okay for my dog to…?” eat off my plate, get on my furniture, walk in front of me, go out the door first, put his paw on me and so many more questions like these are the number one question any trainer gets asked. Many trainers do have rules to what is allowed or not; my philosophy is this, I do not live with your dog, you do. I cannot tell you what you should let your dog or not as long as the behavior is not dangerous. If you want to have your dog eat off your plate, you can do that as long as you don’t feed your dog something poisonous. You can let your puppy sleep in bed with you. There is no scientific evidence that letting your dog or puppy on your bed or furniture will make them dominant or aggressive. My dogs are not allowed on my bed but have the full range of the living room furniture. They are not allowed to eat off my plate but are allowed to eat anything that is put in their dish.
Keep in my mind that what is now cute puppy behavior, may turn into undesirable behavior in your adult dog. If you wouldn’t want your adult dog jumping into your arms, then train your puppy not to do so. It’s much easier not to let a behavior start than to retrain your dog.